In every walk of life, we have umpteen times faced patriarchy and misogyny. It began so early that even the games we played were ‘ghar ghar‘ or ‘kitchen kitchen‘ while the boys played with cars, balls etc. Our minds were too tender to realize the bias. We were raised in a way to perceive misogyny and sexism as normal. It was etched in our minds that we are subordinate to males and our roles are confined within the four walls.
Indian women are wired since childhood that they are ‘Paraya dhan‘ (Somebody else’s Wealth) and that eventually have to go to someone else’s house and be the heir to their MIL’s responsibilities and duties. Every woman has countless times heard ‘sasural jaake kya karegi ?‘ (What will you do at your in-law’s house?) referring to her inabilities in the kitchen or other household chores. Men, on the other hand are pampered and praised even if they footle all day.
It is indoctrinated to us that there are only two goals of muliebrity : 1. Marriage and 2. Motherhood. Sadly even today, everything we do in life is measured in terms of the either and every road leads up to only these destinations while everything else is merely a pit stop. Patriarchy isn’t alone to blame, we women are equally responsible; Thanks to the Raja Beta Syndrome.
In recent times, a considerable part of the feminine population has overcome the stay-home barrier and managed to excel professionally while acing household management, but are disparaged for choosing to work at all. Women who put careers before Marriage/Motherhood are scorned at and abhorred for their choice. It’s nefarious how women themselves discriminate and belittle their own instead of uplifting them.
Women who excel at their jobs and are self-sufficient are more often than not forced by their parents / society to get married and settle down, because in our opinion accomplishment is measured only in terms of Marriage. The sexism doesn’t stop yet, no sooner than a woman is married, we can’t stop asking for the Good News! Because ‘ Shaadi hogayi, ab jaldi se ek baccha dedo‘, (Wedding is done, now quickly give us a kid) apparently that’s the ultimate goal.
What’s even more appalling, is that the solution to every marriage problem here in India is : Baccha karlo. Sab theek hojayega (Produce a child and it will all be okay). This mentality is beyond absurd. It’s not just absurd, but also cheap and extremely selfish. I cannot fathom how one can bring another human being into this world unsure if they can provide a happy, safe and stable future to the offspring. What happens in the scenario that the marriage still doesn’t improve? You just put a little humans entire future in jeopardy and how does that not bite one’s conscience?
I am not sure whats it going to take for the society to comprehend that women are so much more than just their vaginas. A woman is NOT just an object for sex and producing babies or household chores. A woman is NOT your property, whether your daughter, sister or wife. A woman does NOT need to live up to baseless societal norms to please others. A woman is the sole person with rights on her choices. Anyone who thinks otherwise is nothing more than an ignorant misogynist.
Career or Marriage, Both or None, Baby or Not, Sooner or Later, Shorts or Dresses, etc are all her and only her choices to make. NO ONE has the right to force a woman into making any choice that she doesn’t see eye with. There is NO wrong choice. A stay home wife/mom or a career oriented woman, it’s all right as long as it’s her own choice. It’s high time that people understand this.
This isn’t the Neolithic age. This is the 21st century. We have come a far way, let’s not go back to being uncivilized and illiterate. Most of us are well educated citizens of this planet so let’s start acting like that. So Women, Unite! Stand up for your rights, support other women instead of demeaning them, believe in yourself and lastly treat every woman the way you’d expect men to. Let’s show the world how we’re to be treated. Cheers !
© Manali Jobanputra, All Rights Reserved